


Boner slugs

by mrsrainey



Category: Homestuck
Genre: First Time, M/M, The Gay Awakening, Xeno, mixed quadrants
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-26
Updated: 2015-05-26
Packaged: 2018-04-01 07:14:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4010713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrsrainey/pseuds/mrsrainey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Silly alien boys making love for the first time.</p><p>This was inspired by a set of drawings by puni at punispompouspornpalace.tumblr.com! I love dem soft troll nooks.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Boner slugs

The credits rolled. My Best Friend's Girl had just finished, and Karkat's husktop went dark as the credits rolled up the screen and the generic cheesy music played.

Whenever these movies ended, you always seemed to find yourself in some uncompromising pose with Karkat, usually because you'd stopped paying attention to the plot halfway through and started daydreaming (or actually dreaming). This time you were sat with your feet on the table, head resting against Karkat's shoulder with his arm resting lazily around you. Scenarios like this were pretty standard, after he'd explained to you the weird nuances of moiraillegiance. Never in a million sweeps or years or whatever could you imagine Karkat cuddling like this with a psychotic fucking clown murderer, but there you go. Trolls is weird, yo.

Karkat let out a sigh. "Even better than the first time I watched it" he says, completely unironically.

"Yeah, it's pretty okay. I zoned out after they got to that wedding because it was kind of predictable, but whatever man. Still not a bad way to spend an evening." You ran a tired hand through your hair and let it flop back down to rest on Karkat's leg.

"I put this on knowing you'd kick up a little wriggler snooze-fest partway through, to be honest I was expecting it a lot earlier on so kudos for lasting until the wedding. But you missed the best part, and I hope knowing that keeps you up at night."

"I really don't know how I'll cope, dude. Not finding out if Dane Cook got the girl? Man, all his movies are so ambiguous."

"Yeah yeah, I get the point douchebag." Karkat chuckled quietly as he shifted to rest his head on the top of your's, even nuzzling your hair slightly. Okay, this was a little more intimate than you'd done before, and you were starting to realise just how comfortable you actually felt about it. You already knew you wouldn't be able to keep this platonic forever - your human needs would get the better of you. Being such an expert in romance, you were sure Karkat knew this too. Maybe this was his way of testing the waters. If so, seeing as you felt perfectly comfortable, you were happy to join in. You shift your head a bit, pressing your lips gently to Karkat's neck. You're both quiet for a minute and you can feel your heart pounding in your chest.

The credits are over now, and the movie window closed back onto the desktop. You were too comfortable to move, not to mention worried that Karkat would take it as a sign you didn't want this, which you totally did. More than you could say.

Karkat wrapped his other arm around you slowly, taking you into a gentle embrace, his hand on your hip. Softly, he said "I've never seen you quiet for so long. Next time I'll find something even more boring to watch, so I get even more peace and quiet."

"Well you break any peace and quiet in a hot nanosecond Karkat so I don't think I'm the only problem here, though I will admit I'm a god damn motormouth sometimes. Comes in handy for spitting tracks, not so much for peaceful reminiscence." Your lips move against his skin as you speak, your breath gliding over him. You press a cheeky little kiss against his neck. Damn, something is moving inside of you. Butterflies in your stomach, intestines, places you don't want butterflies.

"Dave." His voice perks up a little, uh oh. You're in trouble. "Dave, I-"

"Karkat, stop." You cut him off because you know what he's about to say and you don't think you can handle another in-depth conversation about moiraillegiance. You sit up and look him squarely in the face as you talk (behind your shades, though). "Look. You know I'm human, how many damn times have we been over this shit? I can't help it, it's my nature. And to be fair dude, you're not exactly holding back either. I think we're both on the same page here."

Karkat shuts up because he knows you're right and blushes a little, looking away. You continue. "I'm being real here. No point dusting it under the carpet and pretending this isn't happening, but do we have to have this long ass discussion whenever we do anything? Like come on, let's just go with the flow and stop beating around the proverbial bush here."

He's quiet for a moment, and you take this opportunity to make a move before you flake out. You lean in and kiss him gently on his bright red cheek before lingering there for a moment. Sure enough, Karkat can't shut up for too long.

"Woah woah, these 'long ass discussions' have to happen, nookstain. You can't rush these things! Have you learned nothing from all these stupid fucking movies we watch together??" He puts his hands on your shoulders and raises an eyebrow. "I know there isn't really a precedent for freaky-as-fuck-interspecies-quadrant-relationships apart from Rose and Kanaya, but to be frank they have the longest ass discussions in the entire incipisphere and even I wouldn't go near that kind of violently intelligent chin-wagging endeavour with a ten foot water-vehicle pole in case my mandible literally falls off. But come on, man. We might-"

"-might what? Fucking enjoy ourselves? Explore some dope-ass mutual feelings for each other and learn about ourselves in the process? See, told you I'm paying attention in romcom class 101. Now shut the shit-splitting fuck up and just kiss me already."

Karkat rolls his eyes, which is more than you could have hoped for in the situation. Before he can over-complicate things any more, you swoop in and kiss him for the first time. Softly at first, before you place a hand on the back of his neck and feel him grasp the back of your shirt. You break apart, both blushing furiously. That was your first kiss, and you have a feeling it was Karkat's too. You know better than to get your tongue out, luckily. Karkat is the first to break the silence. "Fuck, I'm so flushed for you. I can't tell you how relieved I am that you feel the same. Like, seriously. I need your stupid ass."

You smirk at him dumbly. "My stupid ass needs you too." The butterflies were doing overtime in your insides, urging you onwards. You kiss him again, moving your hand down from his neck onto his chest, slowly moving down to the side of his ribcage and coming to rest on his hip as you made out. His lips are so soft, it drives you crazy. He arches his body towards you as if drawn in by magnets into your touch, and as you kiss him your hand slides up his sweater, and god he's so warm. Meanwhile, Karkat's hand (the one not still holding onto the back of your shirt for dear life) finds its way to your butt. Well, that escalated quickly. Every touch sends shivers up your spine and makes you so fucking horny, but you don't want to startle him.

You break apart for air, panting and staring at him lustfully. He does the same, swallowing and glancing between your eyes and your lips. "Dave-"

"I know."

He drags you back in without another word, and you lean into him as you make out. He lies back on the couch and you're on top of him now, one knee between his legs, one hand still stroking his warm chest. You're so gay. So so so gay. You want his stupid troll dick in some sort of orifice on your body. With that thought, your cock twitches and you unwittingly grind against your troll boyfriend. The movement causes Karkat to break the kiss and let out a little gasp. You both pause, looking at each other. You want his alien junk, but it's sort of nervewracking too. What even IS it?

"Uh, Karkat?" you begin, tentatively.

"Y-yeah?" he stutters, still catching his breath, his hands on your waist.

"I uh. I don't really. Know where to start? I mean, you're - like, not only are you a dude, but you're like..." Come on, Dave. Don't say something stupid. "Your junk is a tentacle, right? Is it gonna be like hentai where tentacles come from everywhere and strangle me?" Stupid. The stupid thing happened. The stupid thing happened in your mouth and you couldn't stop it.

Karkat rolled his eyes yet again. "You really need some sort of filter between your mouth and your thinkpan. No, it's not going to fucking strangle you, you obtuse fuck. It's just.... yeah. It's a tentabulge. Anyway, I thought you liked doing and not talking?"

Oooh, got you there. "Yeah, fair enough. So, may I?" You cock a smile at him and he gives you one back.

"Please do, or we'll be here shooting the shit forever." You lean back and watch him as he unzips his pants and unbuttons his boxers. Your heart is racing, watching him as he exposes the most beautiful pussy lips you could imagine. Karkat slides a finger into it and coaxes out his bulge, red and wet and.... wow. It just keeps coming. His bulge is pretty large.

"I was expecting suckers. You know, little suction pads like an octopus."

"What the fuck is an octopus?"

"Never mind. It's more like a slug anyhow."

He holds his bulge in his hand and looks down at you. "You really know how to charm a guy, don't you? Likening his junk to an earth gastropod mollusc has gotta be right up there with flowers and poetry."

"It's true though, look!" You shuffle back on the couch so you can comfortably lean down to touch his bulge. "It's like a pet. I bet it has a brain of its own, like, a consciousness. Is it sentient? Have you been holding this slimy boner slug in your pants against its will? Looks so happy to be free. Poor thing." You stroke it, getting your fingers slick with his red mucus. He exhales deeply.

"If you keep teasing like that then my boner slug might just slither into your cartilaginous nub."

"Dude, no. That would be a pretty uncool thing for it to do, I'm not totally into nasal sex. Down, boy." You address his squirming boner directly and it doesn't seem to listen to you, instead wrapping around your fingers. You pull your fingers away and look down at his nook.

"I'm liking this." You slide a finger over his nook lips and sweet jesus they are so soft and slick. Your finger glides right over his slit and he moans - a beautiful sound you've decided you want to hear more of. "Is this your troll pussy? Troll vagina? What am I looking at here? Help me out, I need a tour guide."

Karkat puts a hand on your shoulder, gripping lightly. "If you look down, you'll see my nook, which definitely isn't a purrbeast or a human 'vagina'. It sheaths my bulge and is pretty fucking sensitive. It... feels good when you put something in it."

You'd been hoping to hear that. "Sounds like a human vagina to me. I'm down with that." You make a mental note to stop straight-splaining everything and slip a finger into his nook. It slides in easily and Karkat's head rocks back with another low moan, causing you to notice the massive hard-on in your pants. You move your finger slowly in and out, feeling the warm ridges of his inner nook walls and making a note of every sweet spot that elicits a sharp intake of breath.

"If you look back up, you'll see my bulge which is quite literally aching for attention." Indeed, it was starting to move towards your ear. Now THAT would be an unpleasant experience.

"Hah, your boner slug is so confused, look at it. He doesn't know where to go."

"Can you PLEASE stop personalising my bulge so much? It's creepy. Just touch it already."

"I've got an idea." You grip the base of his bulge and give the tip a cursory lick, which makes Karkat's breath hitch. He tastes good, you think to yourself before sliding his bulge into your mouth. You look up at him, gauging his reaction, and good lord is he enjoying himself. His grip on your shirt and cape tightens and he closes his eyes, moaning and breathing heavily. His bulge is exploring your mouth - a slightly alarming sensation, coupled with the fact that his mucus is building up quickly in your mouth. You try and suppress your gag reflex as you move down his bulge slowly, taking more into your mouth. You keep him there when you start to feel the tip thrash around your tonsils and jack him off with your hand. Your other hand fiddles with his soft nook, as you wonder how you'd be able to last more than 5 seconds with your dick inside it without blowing your load into that amazing, warm little troll-pussy.

"Dave... fuck, stop!" He pulls you back by your cape, flustered beyond belief. He's so cute like this. You look up at him curiously. "What is it, broski? Gonna blow already?"

"No smartass, it's your turn. Except unlike you, I've probably seen enough crude depictions of human dicks to get the idea of what I'm doing."

Shit. Your turn to be tour guide. "Alright, I'll show you the ropes, if you even need them after all my educational illustrations of the human phallus, aka dong." You sit back and pull off your red god tier pants, before pulling your rock-hard dick out of your boxers and getting into position for Karkat. He leans down and holds your cock, looking at it curiously.

"This isn't what I expected."

"Well it ain't gonna crawl into your face, if that's what you mean."

"No, it's so fucking stiff. Look, it barely even bends-"

"AH! WATCH IT, DUDE!" Your exclamation stops him in his tracks and he looks up with alarm, before bursting out laughing.

"Alright, very funny. Just... here, let me show you. Man, these fucking aliens." You bat his hand off and grab your dick, pumping it for him to see. He watches as you jerk yourself off. He reaches out for your nuts and you interject immediately.

"Uh, careful with those. They are hella hella sensitive. Watch those alien claws on them." He scoffs up at you. "I'm not a fucking idiot, Dave. What did you think I was gonna do, rip them off like some kind of carnal musclebeast?"

"Whatever. Can you please just suck me off now? You're almost literally breaking my balls here."

Karkat smirks up at you. "As you command." He wraps his mouth around your cock and starts sucking like a pro. God, it's almost like he's done this before. His mouth feels amazing, so warm around your shaft, moving up and down with his hand around the base. You hold onto his hair and gently encourage him by moving his head up and down, taking all of your concentration not to over-do it and make him bite down reflexively. After a while you relax, your head lulling back and soft moans escaping your lips. "Fuuuuuck Karkat, you're good at this... how are you so good at this..." Even though his tongue is a bit rougher than a human's, it still feels amazing.

He lifts his head up, a trail of spit connecting him to your dick, and you don't think you will ever see anything hotter than this in your life. "Dave, fuck me. Right now."

You don't need telling. You leap into action, sitting up and ripping his pants off him before spreading his legs and positioning your dick at the entrance of his nook. There's no way he need priming - he's dripping wet.

"I really can't wait any longer dude... ready?" Karkat nods. You thrust into his perfect nook and both of you moan in ecstasy. You quickly begin fucking him senseless and he wastes no time in grabbing his bulge, letting it grasp his fingers and quite frankly you're glad it's not gripping your cock while you're trying to fuck him. His other hand grips your cape so hard you almost struggle to breath, which just makes this even hotter. You grip the couch as you pound into his slick little nook, rocking him and the furniture back and forth, creaking underneath you both. He can't contain his fucking beautiful little moans as your skin slaps against his.

"Fu- Dave... nnh! F- Fucking- yes... yes, more... harder! Fuck me!"

You've lasted more than 5 seconds, which is a feat in itself because he feels so damn good and his flushed face is totally priceless. He is squirming beneath you, his eyes clenched shut and his mouth wide open. You kiss him hotly, groaning into his mouth as you do. He breaks for air and cries "P-pail! I'm gonna- hnnn, Dave... I-I can't..."

"Come on Karkat... just make a mess... make a big f-fucking mess of yourself." He squeezes his bulge and arches his back. You have no idea what's coming so to make sure you can still jizz, you close your eyes and listen to his yells as he climaxes. It tips you over the edge and you come inside him with a few last thrusts, and you know you're both going to have bruises from this in the morning.

You open your eyes and... fucking hell. Red everywhere. Thank god your god tier outfit is red anyway or else you might start hoping for a just death to get the stains out. Karkat pants hard underneath you and opens his eyes to look up at you. His face is flushed, and he's absolutely gorgeous. "I've decided your troll junk is all kinds of wicked-cool." Still trying to catch your breath, you pull out of him and give him a little peck on the cheek before sitting back. This is going to be one hell of a clean-up.

Meanwhile, Rose and Kanaya are downstairs, smirking at each other knowingly and trying not to giggle.


End file.
